The guy is an idiot. Period.
Former All-American, All-Pro, All-Everything Albert Haynesworth has been more than simply benched. Today began 4 games of inactivity for the guy that looks like he would eat your babies and smile at you while he does it. Ironic that when this suspension was handed down there were 4 games left in the season....right?
No...not even a little bit. Despite Bruce Allen (GM of the Washington Redskins) claiming that it was a coincidence I feel more than confident in assuming that it was not. Not only is this guy an economic garbage disposal, he can't even meet the minimal cardiovascular requirements to be a LINEMEN. Lets keep in mind that there have been linemen in the NFL such as former Green Bay Packer nose tackle Gilbert Brown, who is said to have weighed somewhere between 375 and 425 pounds (While with the packers he was listed at 345) and still passed this test!
ESPN's Mike Golic, 16 years removed from the NFL and I would argue mildly overweight, took this test cold and passed it (Golic Link), but for some reason Haynesworth could not. The guy isn't a team player by any stretch of the imagination, and by this I mean to say that he attended one offseason workout with his teammates, claiming that he had his own exercise regiment and would come to camp in great shape. I can't imagine that this regiment consisted of much more than walking from the couch to the fridge during the commercial breaks of his bio-toon Fat Albert (too easy) only to grab more bacon grease and straight up lard. So you get it..the guy's fat...let me go on.
Aside from the fact that Haynesworth was an absolute sack of fecal matter coming into training camp (last one), he is one of the most over paid players in the league. Haynesworth is in only the second year of his 100 million dollar contract ($41 million guaranteed.) With his current weight being listed as 335 pounds (naked and starving) this would mean that he is paid $298,507 + for every pound of his grotesque frame (now i'm done...for real). I wish I could get that much money for that little of effort.
So here's a player that is overweight, overpaid, and basically an all around "me" guy, but at least he's talented right? If he is he's done everything but show it this season. He's not a starter. He hates being in D.C. He plays minimal downs. He averages just over 1 tackle per game. He refuses to talk to his coach. He ignores his teammates. His teammates have no problem calling him out. And he has the nerve to blame the organization claiming, "I believe there's some kind of haters in the organization, that they don't like me."
First off, don't follow an "I believe" statement with "there's some kind of haters..." You sound ridiculous. Second off, if there are "haters" as you so eloquently put it, you brought them on yourself. They don't like you because you act like a giant box of Summer's Eve! USE YOUR ENORMOUS HEAD!
To end this piece and provide just a little more insight into the legend of Haynesworthless, here's one more beautiful piece of oratory genius from the fat man that you can't help but smile at:
On his thoughts about the Redskins handling of him as a player...
"We're not putting the highest-paid guy, and a guy I think is one of the best defensive tackles in the game, on the field to try to help us win games...They've got me sitting on the bench. So they're just trying to slander my name to say whatever they want, but we all know what the real truth is."
This is the real truth Albert. You're a perfect example of what not to be. You are supposed to be a "professional" athlete, yet you act less professional than Carrot Top. That's no knock on Top though...he gives hope to gingers which I respect, but that's neither here nor there. If your so worried about the Redskins slandering your oh so professional name, allow me to drop some libel on your ass...ALBERT HAYNESWORTH...YOU'RE AN ABSOLUTE JOKE OF A HUMAN BEING...boom...still awesome.
Showing posts with label football. Show all posts
Showing posts with label football. Show all posts
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Bret Bielema....Coach of The Year?...
I'm not afraid to admit it. I've sipped my fair share of Bielema flavored hater-ade, and I don't regret it. I've been in Madison for almost 4 years now and have been a badger fan since conception. I can wholeheartedly say that I've seen some terrible badger football teams in my time, but not lately. When Wisconsin head football coach Bret Bielema took over for the god-like Barry Alvarez in 2006 it was almost too good to be true. The guy comes in as a rookie coach and earns a ridiculous 12-1 record, becoming the first coach in Wisconsin history with 11 wins in a season. Well it wasn't too long until ever optimistic Badger fans came to terms with the fact that winning with someone else's recruits is far different than winning with your own, as Bielema then led Wisconsin to a 9-4 season and a 7-6 season. It seemed likely that Bielema would be in the hot seat until he countered that with two outstanding seasons (10-3 and 11-1 thus far). Obviously he's working with his own recruits and having incredible success, but should he be in the running for coach of the year? Yes...the windbreaker donning, khaki wearing, biggest bro in college football does deserve that honor...and here's why
Bret Bielema has a giant set of cojones. period. (just ask him - I'm sure he'll let you know) Time and time again we have seen him make some of what look like the stupidest decisions a coach could make, and he's been lucky enough this year to be successful with almost all of them. Take the game against Iowa when the Badgers walked into Iowa City as underdogs even after taking down the #1 ranked Ohio State Buckeyes only a week before, and defeat the Hawkeyes. This is quite the feat, but what I'm focusing on is what happened en route to this victory. With 6:24 left in the 4th quarter after they had just given up a touchdown and gone down by 6 points, they were faced with a 4th and 4 situation on their own 26 yard line, and Bielema decided to fake a punt. Is that a joke? You've got over 6 minutes left to get the ball back and you make that call? He's lucky it worked and he looked like a genius, unfortunately later in the drive they were faced with a 4th and 5 situation on Iowa's 34 yard line with 3:23 left. This is an obvious field goal situation and then hope to get the ball back right?....WRONG...Bielema goes for it yet again and is successful. The dude's got ice in his veins. Had he not made the decision to go for it twice in the last drive, it's hard to say whether or not they pull that out. COJONES!
Aside from this road victory, Bielema has led the badgers to wins at Las Vegas, at Purdue, and at the Big House in Michigan - this from a guy who "can't win on the road." The win at Michigan was the first for the badgers since 1994. I'd say that's a minor accomplishment.
One of the other knocks on Bielema has been his play calling or the offensive play calling of his coaching staff. I've heard it a million times - Bielema gets a good lead and then gets complacent and sits on the ball bla bla bla. Not this year. Big B has left no doubt that he plans to score early, often, and consistently (70-3 against Austin Peay, 83-20 against Indiana, and 70-23 against Northwestern.) Granted you could make the argument that no matter what play you call it's going to be succesful behind Wisconsin's O-line, but we've proven in the past that even with an incredible line, complacency leads to come from behind defeats (see the 2009 Ohio State game). But lets put this into perspective...83 points is the most a team has ever put up in big ten play. It is tied for the 3rd most points scored in the history of the league, and they did it against A BIG TEN OPPONENT. Indiana barely lost to an excellent Iowa team this year, and gave Michigan a run for their money when they were healthy. It's not a great team by any means but it's not an awful team either. It seems to be a reoccurring theme that Bielema and his squad absolutely throttle teams that should never be throttled in such a fashion.
That's another good point to bring up - the squad that runs for Coach B. Being a student at UW, I've heard all sorts of different stories about how his players love him, how his players hate him, and everything in between. It doesn't matter what people say. This guy has never been called out by his team, has never called out a player or coach, and has never really had any negativity strewn on his character aside from theories about running up the score (as it turns out, running the ball up the middle 39 plays in a row isn't defend-able and means you are running up the score). My point is that as much as people like to laugh at the fact that Bielema is this middle aged frat boy that likes the smell of his own shit (don't shoot the messenger) commanding respect from a team is not easy by any means. And like I said, maybe the players do respect him and maybe they don't, but all issues appear to stay in house. That fact alone makes him an outstanding coach.
So lets pull this all together. Here's a relatively young coach with a relatively young team who came into the season with high expectations and has been almost 100% successful in meeting those expectations. He's at the helm of one of the most dominating teams in college football presently, and shows no signs of slowing as recruits continue to flock to Bret Bielema and the Wisconsin Badgers. He took down the #1 team in the nation and finished the season ranked 4th in the human polls, 5th in what must be the Microsoft Vista based computer poll, and will undoubtedly earn the school it's first Rose Bowl bid in ten years. He's got balls the size of his enormous head, he continues to respond to any sort of criticism with win after win after win, and he goes for 2 when he's up 25 points against the school's biggest rival. How is he not coach of the year? More importantly - how can you not love this guy?
Bret Bielema has a giant set of cojones. period. (just ask him - I'm sure he'll let you know) Time and time again we have seen him make some of what look like the stupidest decisions a coach could make, and he's been lucky enough this year to be successful with almost all of them. Take the game against Iowa when the Badgers walked into Iowa City as underdogs even after taking down the #1 ranked Ohio State Buckeyes only a week before, and defeat the Hawkeyes. This is quite the feat, but what I'm focusing on is what happened en route to this victory. With 6:24 left in the 4th quarter after they had just given up a touchdown and gone down by 6 points, they were faced with a 4th and 4 situation on their own 26 yard line, and Bielema decided to fake a punt. Is that a joke? You've got over 6 minutes left to get the ball back and you make that call? He's lucky it worked and he looked like a genius, unfortunately later in the drive they were faced with a 4th and 5 situation on Iowa's 34 yard line with 3:23 left. This is an obvious field goal situation and then hope to get the ball back right?....WRONG...Bielema goes for it yet again and is successful. The dude's got ice in his veins. Had he not made the decision to go for it twice in the last drive, it's hard to say whether or not they pull that out. COJONES!
Aside from this road victory, Bielema has led the badgers to wins at Las Vegas, at Purdue, and at the Big House in Michigan - this from a guy who "can't win on the road." The win at Michigan was the first for the badgers since 1994. I'd say that's a minor accomplishment.
One of the other knocks on Bielema has been his play calling or the offensive play calling of his coaching staff. I've heard it a million times - Bielema gets a good lead and then gets complacent and sits on the ball bla bla bla. Not this year. Big B has left no doubt that he plans to score early, often, and consistently (70-3 against Austin Peay, 83-20 against Indiana, and 70-23 against Northwestern.) Granted you could make the argument that no matter what play you call it's going to be succesful behind Wisconsin's O-line, but we've proven in the past that even with an incredible line, complacency leads to come from behind defeats (see the 2009 Ohio State game). But lets put this into perspective...83 points is the most a team has ever put up in big ten play. It is tied for the 3rd most points scored in the history of the league, and they did it against A BIG TEN OPPONENT. Indiana barely lost to an excellent Iowa team this year, and gave Michigan a run for their money when they were healthy. It's not a great team by any means but it's not an awful team either. It seems to be a reoccurring theme that Bielema and his squad absolutely throttle teams that should never be throttled in such a fashion.
That's another good point to bring up - the squad that runs for Coach B. Being a student at UW, I've heard all sorts of different stories about how his players love him, how his players hate him, and everything in between. It doesn't matter what people say. This guy has never been called out by his team, has never called out a player or coach, and has never really had any negativity strewn on his character aside from theories about running up the score (as it turns out, running the ball up the middle 39 plays in a row isn't defend-able and means you are running up the score). My point is that as much as people like to laugh at the fact that Bielema is this middle aged frat boy that likes the smell of his own shit (don't shoot the messenger) commanding respect from a team is not easy by any means. And like I said, maybe the players do respect him and maybe they don't, but all issues appear to stay in house. That fact alone makes him an outstanding coach.
So lets pull this all together. Here's a relatively young coach with a relatively young team who came into the season with high expectations and has been almost 100% successful in meeting those expectations. He's at the helm of one of the most dominating teams in college football presently, and shows no signs of slowing as recruits continue to flock to Bret Bielema and the Wisconsin Badgers. He took down the #1 team in the nation and finished the season ranked 4th in the human polls, 5th in what must be the Microsoft Vista based computer poll, and will undoubtedly earn the school it's first Rose Bowl bid in ten years. He's got balls the size of his enormous head, he continues to respond to any sort of criticism with win after win after win, and he goes for 2 when he's up 25 points against the school's biggest rival. How is he not coach of the year? More importantly - how can you not love this guy?
Sunday, November 7, 2010
The NFL - The National Fairy League - of course
Can someone please explain to me how a league that prides itself on having the biggest and baddest men in the world and the largest concentration of testosterone and pituitary disorders this side of big and tall shop - can start fining their employees for doing their job? I understand that the league needs to protect it's players and I am just as supportive of rules banning any action with malicious intent as the next guy, but I don't think it's out of line to say that the way these rules are being implemented is taking America's sport (not baseball - America's REAL sport) and making it softer than a Coldplay concert.
There's a time and a place that these fines and suspensions are perfectly justifiable. It really isn't difficult to judge when a guy goes in with his head down, intent on shattering a skull, as opposed to when a perfectly reasonable hit goes wrong by fault of the victim themselves. I understand that the NFL needs to make an example out of certain players in order to end this trend of intentional cheap shots but it's to the point where league officals are basically penalizing players if they don't apologize and make sure their counterparts are going to be alright (you've seen women's soccer before).
By now I'm sure it's safe to assume that anyone interested in reading this knows enough about the current state of the NFL to know what I'm referring to but just in case you tend to hang out with the "indoor kids," and don't care about the things you should care about - allow me to explain.
In week 6 of the NFL season, a string of malicious helmet-to-helmet hits lead to a number of concussions (most notably suffered by Philadelphia wide-out Desean Jackson, Baltimore tight-end Todd Heap, and Cleveland wide-out Josh Cribbs) and an alarming realization for the league higher-ups. Obviously you can't stand by and watch defenseless players get steamrolled over and over and not interject, so the NFL announced that these hits wouldn't go unpunished and that if the trend continues, suspensions will be a factor. As it unfolded, the responsible parties were fined anywhere from $50,000 to $75,000 in week 6 and it appeared that lessons were learned and the problem would fix itself....which I feel it has, but the NFL feels that it needs to continue to promote powderpuff football.
Case in point, Myron Pryor's hit on Brett Favre in the 4th quarter of the Patriot's week 8 matchup against the Vikings. It was a punishing blow for grandpa Favre, no doubt about that, but Pryor followed every rule that the league has imposed on would be tacklers. Unfortunately for Pryor, after making contact with Favre's chest, the top of his helmet slid underneath the quarterback's facemask and left a solid gash on the old man's chin. Considering the fact that this was a clear accident and was not meant to be malicious at all, you would think it would go unpunished, but this assumption fails to recognize that a quarterback in the NFL is treated like the kid with asthma in gym class. Because it's Brett Favre and because he's a quarterback the league feels that he needs to be protected. Don't mind the fact that he is meant to be a physical specimen as a professional athlete and that he's played with a broken thumb, broken ankles, and basically any other injury imaginable, but I'm sure that a little cut on the chin merits a $7500 fine from the Pryor. I'm so glad the league and myself see eye to eye.
It is ridiculous to punish this guy because the laws of friction, as it turns out, exist beyond a textbook. (who would've thought?!) His helmet slid underneath the facemask after making contact with the chest, but apparently the NFL believes that momentum ceases to exist as soon as contact is made with another force. With the league tossing out fines like this, as minimal as they seem given the average salary in the NFL, how can anyone expect the excitement of the game to remain? I would never imply that players getting hurt adds to this excitement, obviously that isn't the case and the injuries that have occurred are a very unfortunate byproduct of a game that revolves around physical abuse. But how can we punish these guys for doing what they were taught to do and what the league had supported before all of this? Even in tonight's game, Austin Collie was knocked unconscious and gave the football world quite a scare, but Eagles safety Quintin Mikell was in the wrong spot at the wrong time. Collie and Mikell simultaneously dropped their heads and before either one could adjust for what was coming, contact was made and Collie was out cold.
So should Mikell be punished because as he went in for the tackle Collie was bracing himself for contact and lowered his head? Absolutely not. But the NFL feels differently. They will most likely fine Mikell simply because Collie sustained a head injury as a result of his hit, and that just isn't right. What the NFL is doing is trying to please a player's union that is constantly calling for medical aid for former professional athletes for long term injuries as a result of the game. That's a story for a different day, but the moral of this one is that the NFL needs to stop throwing out fines anytime a head injury occurs and start suspending players when they clearly violate the rules and have malicious intent. It's not difficult to recognize, it's just a matter of common sense. Figure it out Goodell.
There's a time and a place that these fines and suspensions are perfectly justifiable. It really isn't difficult to judge when a guy goes in with his head down, intent on shattering a skull, as opposed to when a perfectly reasonable hit goes wrong by fault of the victim themselves. I understand that the NFL needs to make an example out of certain players in order to end this trend of intentional cheap shots but it's to the point where league officals are basically penalizing players if they don't apologize and make sure their counterparts are going to be alright (you've seen women's soccer before).
By now I'm sure it's safe to assume that anyone interested in reading this knows enough about the current state of the NFL to know what I'm referring to but just in case you tend to hang out with the "indoor kids," and don't care about the things you should care about - allow me to explain.
In week 6 of the NFL season, a string of malicious helmet-to-helmet hits lead to a number of concussions (most notably suffered by Philadelphia wide-out Desean Jackson, Baltimore tight-end Todd Heap, and Cleveland wide-out Josh Cribbs) and an alarming realization for the league higher-ups. Obviously you can't stand by and watch defenseless players get steamrolled over and over and not interject, so the NFL announced that these hits wouldn't go unpunished and that if the trend continues, suspensions will be a factor. As it unfolded, the responsible parties were fined anywhere from $50,000 to $75,000 in week 6 and it appeared that lessons were learned and the problem would fix itself....which I feel it has, but the NFL feels that it needs to continue to promote powderpuff football.
Case in point, Myron Pryor's hit on Brett Favre in the 4th quarter of the Patriot's week 8 matchup against the Vikings. It was a punishing blow for grandpa Favre, no doubt about that, but Pryor followed every rule that the league has imposed on would be tacklers. Unfortunately for Pryor, after making contact with Favre's chest, the top of his helmet slid underneath the quarterback's facemask and left a solid gash on the old man's chin. Considering the fact that this was a clear accident and was not meant to be malicious at all, you would think it would go unpunished, but this assumption fails to recognize that a quarterback in the NFL is treated like the kid with asthma in gym class. Because it's Brett Favre and because he's a quarterback the league feels that he needs to be protected. Don't mind the fact that he is meant to be a physical specimen as a professional athlete and that he's played with a broken thumb, broken ankles, and basically any other injury imaginable, but I'm sure that a little cut on the chin merits a $7500 fine from the Pryor. I'm so glad the league and myself see eye to eye.
It is ridiculous to punish this guy because the laws of friction, as it turns out, exist beyond a textbook. (who would've thought?!) His helmet slid underneath the facemask after making contact with the chest, but apparently the NFL believes that momentum ceases to exist as soon as contact is made with another force. With the league tossing out fines like this, as minimal as they seem given the average salary in the NFL, how can anyone expect the excitement of the game to remain? I would never imply that players getting hurt adds to this excitement, obviously that isn't the case and the injuries that have occurred are a very unfortunate byproduct of a game that revolves around physical abuse. But how can we punish these guys for doing what they were taught to do and what the league had supported before all of this? Even in tonight's game, Austin Collie was knocked unconscious and gave the football world quite a scare, but Eagles safety Quintin Mikell was in the wrong spot at the wrong time. Collie and Mikell simultaneously dropped their heads and before either one could adjust for what was coming, contact was made and Collie was out cold.
So should Mikell be punished because as he went in for the tackle Collie was bracing himself for contact and lowered his head? Absolutely not. But the NFL feels differently. They will most likely fine Mikell simply because Collie sustained a head injury as a result of his hit, and that just isn't right. What the NFL is doing is trying to please a player's union that is constantly calling for medical aid for former professional athletes for long term injuries as a result of the game. That's a story for a different day, but the moral of this one is that the NFL needs to stop throwing out fines anytime a head injury occurs and start suspending players when they clearly violate the rules and have malicious intent. It's not difficult to recognize, it's just a matter of common sense. Figure it out Goodell.
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