The guy is an idiot. Period.
Former All-American, All-Pro, All-Everything Albert Haynesworth has been more than simply benched. Today began 4 games of inactivity for the guy that looks like he would eat your babies and smile at you while he does it. Ironic that when this suspension was handed down there were 4 games left in the season....right?
No...not even a little bit. Despite Bruce Allen (GM of the Washington Redskins) claiming that it was a coincidence I feel more than confident in assuming that it was not. Not only is this guy an economic garbage disposal, he can't even meet the minimal cardiovascular requirements to be a LINEMEN. Lets keep in mind that there have been linemen in the NFL such as former Green Bay Packer nose tackle Gilbert Brown, who is said to have weighed somewhere between 375 and 425 pounds (While with the packers he was listed at 345) and still passed this test!
ESPN's Mike Golic, 16 years removed from the NFL and I would argue mildly overweight, took this test cold and passed it (Golic Link), but for some reason Haynesworth could not. The guy isn't a team player by any stretch of the imagination, and by this I mean to say that he attended one offseason workout with his teammates, claiming that he had his own exercise regiment and would come to camp in great shape. I can't imagine that this regiment consisted of much more than walking from the couch to the fridge during the commercial breaks of his bio-toon Fat Albert (too easy) only to grab more bacon grease and straight up lard. So you get it..the guy's fat...let me go on.
Aside from the fact that Haynesworth was an absolute sack of fecal matter coming into training camp (last one), he is one of the most over paid players in the league. Haynesworth is in only the second year of his 100 million dollar contract ($41 million guaranteed.) With his current weight being listed as 335 pounds (naked and starving) this would mean that he is paid $298,507 + for every pound of his grotesque frame (now i'm done...for real). I wish I could get that much money for that little of effort.
So here's a player that is overweight, overpaid, and basically an all around "me" guy, but at least he's talented right? If he is he's done everything but show it this season. He's not a starter. He hates being in D.C. He plays minimal downs. He averages just over 1 tackle per game. He refuses to talk to his coach. He ignores his teammates. His teammates have no problem calling him out. And he has the nerve to blame the organization claiming, "I believe there's some kind of haters in the organization, that they don't like me."
First off, don't follow an "I believe" statement with "there's some kind of haters..." You sound ridiculous. Second off, if there are "haters" as you so eloquently put it, you brought them on yourself. They don't like you because you act like a giant box of Summer's Eve! USE YOUR ENORMOUS HEAD!
To end this piece and provide just a little more insight into the legend of Haynesworthless, here's one more beautiful piece of oratory genius from the fat man that you can't help but smile at:
On his thoughts about the Redskins handling of him as a player...
"We're not putting the highest-paid guy, and a guy I think is one of the best defensive tackles in the game, on the field to try to help us win games...They've got me sitting on the bench. So they're just trying to slander my name to say whatever they want, but we all know what the real truth is."
This is the real truth Albert. You're a perfect example of what not to be. You are supposed to be a "professional" athlete, yet you act less professional than Carrot Top. That's no knock on Top though...he gives hope to gingers which I respect, but that's neither here nor there. If your so worried about the Redskins slandering your oh so professional name, allow me to drop some libel on your ass...ALBERT HAYNESWORTH...YOU'RE AN ABSOLUTE JOKE OF A HUMAN BEING...boom...still awesome.
